Jade accuses Sarah of assault then has an asthma attack. Everybody lives. Sarah talks through an activity in F*ck off and die that uses the negativity bias to your advantage. She also talks about how much she likes her vagina.
A listener asks Jade why it takes so long to get over the pain of a break up. Jade drops some PHacts (the PH makes the facts cooler), and we marvel at how evolution makes our bodies feel really sad during times of heartbreak.
Show notes
- Buy Erotica – a book of erotic stories by women and non-binary folk. Curated by Jasmine Walker of House of Theodora. Art by Kim Manning.
- You are fucking awesome – find the activity in F*ck off and die.
- Learn more about the Negativity Bias here.
Listener question
Why does breakup pain last way longer than you want it to?
- fMRI studies show our brain’s physical pain centres responding to the emotional pain of breakups.
- It takes about 6 weeks to adjust to life without your ex, 12 weeks to feel better.
- For a long relationship it can sometimes take a whole year to work through each triggering event in the calendar.
- Sometimes you lose a piece of your identity and you need time to rediscover yourself.
- It helps to know you’re not alone. It takes the time it takes and it won’t help to pressure yourself to feel better on a deadline.
- Call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or talk to a friend or therapist if you need help moving on.
- Breakups don’t have to leave you broken – a TedTalk by Gary Lewandowski.
Quotes
“Everyone talks about how hard it is to trust people after you’ve been hurt. But barely anyone talks about how hard it is to trust *yourself* when you’ve had your gut instincts and convictions skilfully undermined by someone.”
– @itsjacksonbbz from The booty is not an apology
“This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we have tried for something.”
– Elizabeth Gilbert