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S2. Ep. 4 How do I deal with the intense pain of a breakup?

By Sarah Robinson on February 23, 2021

In this episode Sarah and Jade talk about the board game they made, as a gift to listeners on Valentine’s Day. It’s called ‘Heartbreaks and Ladders’, and is free for a limited time. (Download it here.)

Sarah plays an excerpt from psychologist Guy Winch’s 2017 TedX Talk, about why you shouldn’t idealise your ex (and how not to). Jade answers a listener question about how to cope with the intense physical pain of a break up.

Show notes

Sarah’s bit

Jade’s bit

Listener question

“I was just broken up with and I feel a horrible pain in my stomach. Especially in the morning. How do I get through this? It feels like it will never end.”

  • Studies show breakups cause actual physical pain.
  • Read a Scientific American Article about this here.
  • Get the full study here.
  • In the caveman days, rejection from the tribe meant death. This is why our bodies are evolved to feel so much pain when a breakup happens (even if we didn’t do the breaking up). Read more about this here.
  • Bookclubs – a study found that the size and strength of a person’s circle of friends, but not necessarily his or her family, predicted survival a decade later.
  • Similarly, a 2010 meta-analysis (a quantitative review) found that in data across 149 studies, having strong relationships, whether friends or family, was as powerful an indicator in predicting longevity as smoking or abusing alcohol.
  • Listen to our previous podcast for more on this – Season 1. Episode 1.

Quotes

Sarah’s quote

“I think I made you up inside my head.”

Sylvia Plath from Mad Girl’s Love Song, 1953

“look. life is bad. everyones sad. We’re all gona die. but I alredy bought this inflatable boumcy castle so are u gona take ur shoes off or wat”

Jonny Sun, 2019

Listen to his TedTalk here.

 

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