I went through a big fuck off break up a while back, and in between binge drinking evenings plagued by chain smoking durries, I read lots of articles about how to get through that shitty time.
Some helped. Some just downright pissed me off. How the fuck was I supposed to meditate when I could barely fathom my all-time favourite hobby of eating?
In that fucked up first month, I only wanted to do things that made me feel instantly better.
Break ups are shitty
It may sound dramatic, but psychologists say that the grief experienced during a break up is similar to the grief felt when a loved one dies.
So if you’re going through a break up right now, go easy – you’re having a tough fucking time. Acknowledge it. Own it. Don’t expect too much of yourself.
Even simple tasks like having a shower or answering the phone can feel like an Apollo 11 mission. But back to chain-smoking durries.
The first month sucks balls
I wrote this book, because the stuff in it helped me get through the fucked up first month of my break up.
I wrote it because a mate of mine went through one soon after me. The guy she left was abusive, and I sure as fuck didn’t want her going back to him. I figured, if she can get through that first month, she probably won’t.
Then another friend passed the book to someone at her work, and she said it made her laugh. If that’s all you get out of it during that shitty first month, job done.
Being a cunt is okay
It’s called Fuck off and die, because that’s exactly what I wanted my ex to do. Yeah, it sounds harsh, but that’s how I felt, and acknowledging that anger helped me let go of it.
So grieve that future you thought you had with fuck-face. I guarantee that eventually, you’ll have a better one with a better guy (who’ll probably have a bigger dick).
I don’t really care that much if buy the book. So long as you know that you are not alone.
The darkness will end and your life won’t just go back to normal, it will evolve into something different and epic and beautiful, just like you.
But naturally, in the meantime, he can Fuck off and die.